I think I would like to try that ramen… just to see what it was all about. Finding a way to work around an unreasonable mindset is difficult. Now what would you have done if there wasn’t space in the upstairs pantry?!
I love this post so hard. Learning what works, figuring out work arounds, and just love, love, loving on your loved one is a precious but singular journey. Gold star to you!
Great creative solution! I really love reading your reflections and I feel honored that you share from your experience - it’s like a sacred gift you are offering your readers.
My sweet dad has dementia, not as severe as Alzheimer’s, but his memory is deteriorating rapidly. We revisit the same stories and/or questions several times each time I visit. I offer a new topic, we briefly engage on that, and then whatever it is he’s focused on that day comes up again. I’m mostly able to laugh at the joke again, reminisce as if it’s the first time in a long time I’ve thought of that particular story, or answer the question I just answered 10 minutes ago one more time. Most days I don’t leave crying, but sometimes grief just takes over. I am so thankful to be able to spend time with him, and I try to keep my focus on that. He’s in a health center where the care is top notch, and for that I am VERY grateful. My biggest puzzle right now is how to help him navigate his own grief, as he keeps rediscovering anew that my mom is no longer with us. They were together 24/7 for the last half of their 70 years of marriage, because he began working from home at that point. She’s been gone almost 5 months, but he tells me there are still days when he heads back to his room from a meal, expecting her to be there, only to discover her gone. Heartbreaking.
Thank you vulnerably sharing. Since hearing your voice in AWR, I now think of you often as I sit in my own grief, and I hold space for you as well.
Wendy, I'm so sorry your Dad is going through this. My mother who had vascular dementia sat through my father's funeral service and on the way out asked where Daddy was. They were married 60 years so I totally get it. Sorrow but also what an amazing love story! I just love "reminisce as if it's the first time" it's come up. I immediately thought well, you could imagine that you are in a drama class and trying to perfect your lines--"you know I was just thinking of that story the other day" and then "huh, I forgot all about that story" and perhaps "I thought that happened in 1985, not 1990." Finding someway to engage your creative brain instead of your rational brain which is reaching the mental exhaustion point.
Wow, great solutions! I am taking notes in case I need this someday. I have older parents and a husband who had a massive stroke 35 years ago, so can foresee myself taking care of one of them at some point.
I am sorry you and your husband had to go through this, and for your loss. But I am SO grateful to you for sharing your stories. It is so helpful to hear the specific details about what daily life was like for you. In addition to, hopefully, feeling healing for you to write about it, you are also doing a great service for others. Thank you, KC!
I think I would like to try that ramen… just to see what it was all about. Finding a way to work around an unreasonable mindset is difficult. Now what would you have done if there wasn’t space in the upstairs pantry?!
I love this post so hard. Learning what works, figuring out work arounds, and just love, love, loving on your loved one is a precious but singular journey. Gold star to you!
Great creative solution! I really love reading your reflections and I feel honored that you share from your experience - it’s like a sacred gift you are offering your readers.
My sweet dad has dementia, not as severe as Alzheimer’s, but his memory is deteriorating rapidly. We revisit the same stories and/or questions several times each time I visit. I offer a new topic, we briefly engage on that, and then whatever it is he’s focused on that day comes up again. I’m mostly able to laugh at the joke again, reminisce as if it’s the first time in a long time I’ve thought of that particular story, or answer the question I just answered 10 minutes ago one more time. Most days I don’t leave crying, but sometimes grief just takes over. I am so thankful to be able to spend time with him, and I try to keep my focus on that. He’s in a health center where the care is top notch, and for that I am VERY grateful. My biggest puzzle right now is how to help him navigate his own grief, as he keeps rediscovering anew that my mom is no longer with us. They were together 24/7 for the last half of their 70 years of marriage, because he began working from home at that point. She’s been gone almost 5 months, but he tells me there are still days when he heads back to his room from a meal, expecting her to be there, only to discover her gone. Heartbreaking.
Thank you vulnerably sharing. Since hearing your voice in AWR, I now think of you often as I sit in my own grief, and I hold space for you as well.
Wendy, I'm so sorry your Dad is going through this. My mother who had vascular dementia sat through my father's funeral service and on the way out asked where Daddy was. They were married 60 years so I totally get it. Sorrow but also what an amazing love story! I just love "reminisce as if it's the first time" it's come up. I immediately thought well, you could imagine that you are in a drama class and trying to perfect your lines--"you know I was just thinking of that story the other day" and then "huh, I forgot all about that story" and perhaps "I thought that happened in 1985, not 1990." Finding someway to engage your creative brain instead of your rational brain which is reaching the mental exhaustion point.
Wise counsel. And resonant with something I’m trying to embrace within my writing journey- to let my rational brain take the back seat more often. ❤️
Wow, great solutions! I am taking notes in case I need this someday. I have older parents and a husband who had a massive stroke 35 years ago, so can foresee myself taking care of one of them at some point.
I am sorry you and your husband had to go through this, and for your loss. But I am SO grateful to you for sharing your stories. It is so helpful to hear the specific details about what daily life was like for you. In addition to, hopefully, feeling healing for you to write about it, you are also doing a great service for others. Thank you, KC!